Drunkenness

So, today I'd like to talk about people who are drunk off their ass.

People know that there are different types of drunkenness. But today, I'm going to cover them in incredibly unuseful depth.

Type 1- Party Animal.

This is the drunk who isn't necessarily the happy drunk, because that is a different category. This is the drunk who is the life of the party- the one doing the worm in the middle of the floor. The names that the annoying douches/ frat boys chant. They will give you a great time and be the last to leave without annoying the host. However, this can branch out into the dangerous drunk. You know that guy on the news who dove head first into a kiddie pool? Well, I'm sure he was first called a party animal. Not to mention, they're the ones that usually get the most smashed, so they can be a handful to care for. 

Type 2- Happy Drunk.

This is one of the more annoying drunks of the bunch. Always giggly, this crowd can just sit in a corner doing nothing but getting hammered and have the time of their lives because they think everything is just halarious. Worst part about them? Not only do they think everything around them is hiliarious- they think THEY'RE hiliarious. Ugh. So if you don't laugh at their mumbly slurred joke that makes no sense, they might get unusually pissed.

Type 3- Emotional Wreck.

I have never gotten drunk. I probably should've disclaimed that at the beginning of the post, but whatever. Anyway, people I know who HAVE gotten drunk told me this is what I would be. This is another of the annoying variety. I would highly encourage not even talking to them, because anything you say could trigger them into a deep, swirling hole of despair. It's like walking in a minefield. While being drunk.    



Type 4- Needy/Slutty Drunk.

We all know this one. This is the one chick who thinks she's a party animal standing on a table wailing 'WOOIMSODRUNK!' And if she's not getting attention, she'll target someone. Lean on you, drape her arm on your shoulder, hug you, or worse. Oh, much worse. So my advice if one of these gets on you (literally)? Cut your losses and GTFO.



Type 5- Pissed Drunk.



Yeah, I'm using a super overused photo. Get over it.



This is the drunk that is just mad at the world. Anything you do can set him off, whether he thinks you're looking at his girl, looking at him funny, or he just wants to start a fight, (as most pissed drunks do) you should probably just lay low. Agree with everything he says. You're superior to him anyways. (maybe.)



These are the main types of drunks. Now that I think about it, there are a few more obscure ones. The condescending drunk, the guy or girl that's just as hammered as you are but just walks around sticking his nose up because he's 'much less drunk and more responsible than you are' and the brilliant drunk- the one that figures out the cure for AIDS.

So that's it! Thank you ever so much for reading.(:

Sarah